Honeybear

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-10-03T01:05:00

2007-10-02T15:16:11Z

Mmk well.

I know that in a lot of my blogs I talk about how I have a crush, and a lot of them are different every time...

But now I think I have an ACTUAL crush who I am crushing for hardcore style.

And plusss, this person also likes meee back methinks!

WEEEEEEEE

Tis all very exciting.

Ok enough about Liam, let's talk about myself.

I have dropped out of school. I know, I know it seems silly to drop out in year 10. But I don't care. I chose to act upon my hatred of school. Twas my choice, bitch.
I haven't COMPLETELY given up though. I will be doing my year 10 at CIT next year, then I'll be doing other courses to prepare myself for teh future at CIT ^_^

Liam is great.

I am working full time at McDonalds now. I know, I know.. dropping out of year 10 and working at McDonalds seems RETARDED, but it is only until I can find a better job. Which will be easy, but I haven't started looking yet so w/e shut up..

Liam is cool.

I am cutting down on my Ganja smoking quite a lot. I've only done it twice in one week I think. I'm not sure though I can't remember.. It may have been 3 times in the last 4 days.. Hmm.

Liam is pretty.

I think I might buy some musical recording equipment very soon. Very very soon. Like, next couple of weeks. I will start raking in the cash I think =D And I now have no spare time to spend all my money! WOOH!

Liam is cute.

My mum is going to start charging me rent though.. I don't see why. She says it is because if I am not going to school then she doesn't want me living with her and doing nothing.. but I won't be doing nothing. I will be working my ass off full time! And I pretty much HAVE to stay with her, because I am only 15. It would be a little hard for me to move out on my own at this age.. Basically, if I left home, I'd be straight to a refuge. It's not like I can fucking go rent someone elses house at 15 years of age -_-
So in short, she is unnecessarily charging me for being alive under her roof. Bleh.
I think I might refuse to pay her. Then if she kicks me out because of it, I'll live on the street for a couple of days and I'll make her aware of this and she will feel horrible for kicking out her FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SON because he didn't think he was old enough to have to pay rent.

Liam is awesome.

Trip-Hop music is pretty amazing.
As is shoegaze music.

As is Liam.

Liam Liam Liam.
Liam

Night.

Brad
<3

Oh my

2007-09-16T14:50:45Z

Oh how I have missed you, sweet sweet Livejournal.

I have so much to say!
And so little energy.

I'll do the best I can!

Now, should I start from the last time I Ljayed and work my way up to the present, or the other way round?

I don't really care, so I'll mix it up a bit.

Ok. I'll do it like this. I willll, make categories of main aspects of thingys and just talk about all the changies and shizwiznix.

Music

Since I last journaled, I have done very very very much musically!
I've taken up piano, and love it to death.
I'm doing a class at school calleddd "Music Industry Basics" which is all about the recording and producing side of music and it is the PERFECT class for me! It is wonderful so far. Wee.
I have been to.. 3 concerts, I think.. Since I last journalized that is.
I just got back from Tori Amos, which was very good. But she didn't talk to the audience much at all which was disappointing.
I recently saw Silverchair and Powderfinger.
Silverchair were AMAZING. Powderfinger were... Powderfinger.
And my very favorite = Patrick Wolf!!!
Naturally, he was FUCKING AMAZING IN EVERY WAY!!! Actually, I thought I had already journalled about him.. But I guess now =\
He talked to me whilst he was on stage, and I was hyperventalating and couldn't breath and it was fantastic. By far the best day of my life.

Here is Tori's set list for tonight, roughly:

Clyde
Bouncing Off Clouds
Little Earthquakes
Juarez
Rattlesnakes
Beauty Of Speed

Interval - Professional Widow (Cool Remix Thing)

Tori

Big Wheel
Space Dog (Intro thing that I have not heard before, then the song)
Pancake
Cornflake Girl
Lust (I think..)
Take To The Sky (Russia)

Solo Tori (T & Bö)

China
Me & A Gun
Here In My Head

Band Returns

Digital Ghost
Black Dove (January)
Code Red

Encore 1

Precious Things
Secret Spell

Encore 2

Hey Jupiter

School

Hmm.. School..

I started to get back on track at the start of this term and was doing quite well.
But it didn't last long.. I'm pretty sure that I am officially failing. I don't know though. I also don't really care.

Loveee

Well. I currently have a crush on a person. They are very lovely and pretty and wonderful and *swoooon*

That's all I need to say I think.

General

I'm sick of the category thing -_-

Ok.
I just forgot everything I had planned to journal about...

Oh fuck it. If I remember anything I'll post again.

Bai

giknrebion

2007-06-21T12:39:22Z

Hmmm.

I gots me a ticket to TORI AMOSSS =D

I am quite excited.

Chai Latte thingys are fucking delicious.

I like them a lot.

Bit Bent was very nice tonight, I went to dinner afterwards with everyone.

It was nice, I had some vegetarian Lasagna.

Yeah.

Not much else to say I don't think..

OH WAIT

I'm moving house THIS WEEKEND =DDD

We got the keys tonight, and we moved a few things over.

It is actually my old house, but we are moving back into it because it was cool.

Yeah.

That is exciting.

Woot.

Night.

Brad.

<3

Agh

2007-06-18T09:20:21Z

Argument with mother tonight.

Lot's of fun.

Then sxc breakdown with crying on my bed and all.

I don't like whining though. So I won't get into heaps of detail about what I'm feeling right now, because it would just come out as emotional whingey dribble that I personally wouldn't want to hear if I was someone else, so I won't make anyone have to listen to it.

Hmm

Now that I've decided not to whine about my emotions I have nothing to say right now.. I'll leave it for later I guess.

New love

2007-06-15T11:33:26Z

I have discovered a new love.

Poetry.

Not just any poetry.
I dug up an old poetry book by Shel Silverstein and have been reading it lots. It is mostly humorous children's poetry, but there is a fair few very sweet lovely deep ones also.
I will post a few of my favorites so READ THEM!

Snowman

Twas the first day of the springtime,
And the snowman stood alone
As the winter snows were melting,
And the pine trees seemed to groan,
"Ah, you poor sad smiling snowman,
You'll be melting by and by."
Said the snowman, "What a pity,
For I'd like to see July.
Yes, I'd like to see July, and please don't ask me why.
But I'd like to, yes I'd like to, oh I'd like to see July."

Chirped a robin, just arriving,
"Seasons come and seasons go,
And the greatest ice must crumble
When it's flowers' time to grow.
And as one thing is beginning
So another thing must die,
And there's never been a snowman
Who has ever seen July.
No, they never see July, no matter how they try.
No, they never ever, never ever, never see July."

But the snowman sniffed his carrot nose
And said, "At least I'll try,"
And he bravely smiled his frosty smile
And blinked his coal-black eye.
And there he stood and faced the sun
A blazin' from the sky-
And I really cannot tell you
If he ever saw July.
Did he ever see July? You can guess as well as I
If he ever, if he never, if he ever saw July.

Where the sidewalk ends
There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the mood-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

No Difference

Small as a peanut,
Big as a giant,
We're all the same size
When we turn off the light.

Rich as a sultan,
Poor as mite,
We're all worth the same
When we turn off the light.

Red, black or orange,
Yellow or white,
We all look the same
When we turn off the light

So maybe the way
To make everything right
Is for god to just reach out
And turn off the light!

Point of view

Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless
Christmas dinner's dark and blue
When you stop and try to see it
From the turkey's point of view.

Sunday dinner isn't sunny
Easter feasts are just bad luck
When you see it from the viewpoint
Of a chicken or a duck.

Oh how I once loved tuna salad
Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too
Till I stopped and looked at dinner
From the dinner's point of view.

I won't hatch!

Oh I am a chickie who lives in an egg,
But I will not hatch, I will not hatch.
The hens they all cackle, the roosters all beg,
But I will not hatch, I will not hatch.
For I hear all the talk of pollution and war
As the people all shout and the airplanes roar,
So I'm staying in here where it's safe and it's warm,
And I WILL NOT HATCH!

The search

I went to fine the pot of gold
That's waiting where the rainbow ends.
I searched and searched and searched and searched
And searched and searched, and then-
There it was, deep in the grass,
Under an old and twisty bough.
It's mine, it's mine, it's mine at last...
What do I search for now?

The book is called Where the sidewalk ends and is written by Shel Silverstein.
It is quite lovely ^_^
Yayayayayay

I was meant to be at a krunk party tonight but I couldn't get a lift there. Probably a good thing considering I work at 6.30 in the morning..

Night.

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-06-11T23:17:00

2007-06-11T13:17:54Z

Cough syrup is disgusting.

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-06-10T00:57:00

2007-06-09T15:08:25Z

RIboqtbnoinIUBRGion

I was offered Ice the other day

BUT I TURNED THAT SHIT DOWN MOTHER FUCKER I DON'T PLAY THAT WAY!!

Oooh am I even supposed to have drug references and rudie words in my entries? I don't know.. I've never read the termsss and conditionssss of this here joint.

Oh well I don't care I'll live I guess

BUT WHAT IF THEY DELETE MY ACCOUNT!?!?!

All my entries will be forever lost!
Oh wait I don't care.

OK

Hmmm

I feel like chocolate
FATTYYYYY
Maybe I should just have some dustttt
a bit a dustttt

INNITTTTT

L0zlZ0rz LiTlE bRiTaN hEhE iM sEw XR9zAnDo8M L9Z0LZZ!

I'm really bored

I'm not moving this weekend anymore.. We are moving next weekend.

I MIGHT BE ABLE TO DECORATE MY GARAGE!!!!
Ahhhh the ideas in my head!

Have I even talked about the moving situation yet?
I don't care I'm doing it again anyway.

We are moving, into my old house (8 houses away from my current house). I am really excited. I loved that house.
We were meant to move in this weekend but we aren't. I don't know why? We are moving next weekend instead.
They cut all the trees in the backyard down though =( SILLY HEADSSSS
Those were really nice trees.
Mum and Jim (her hunni) went furniture browsing today (and didn't bring me </3)
Apparently we are going to get a wholeeee new look for our house (we've had the same basic concept for our last 3 houses now..).
Instead of old fashion woods and ugly green lounges, we are going modern browns and low tables and stufff or something. I don't really care.
I JUST WANT TO DECORATE THE GARAGE!!

I want a rumpus room/art room/music room/STONERRRRR room (don't do drugs though no.. Just for all my stoner FRIENDS who might want to put it to use (a))
I wanna buy some nice rugs and and and some cute cushy chairs and and and a beanbag anddddd some nice easels anddd a coffee table and a tv and EVERYTHINGGGGG!!

It is going to be grand.

EXCITEDDD!
It might need some lava lamps and other novelty items also.

In other news..
Umm

Bye
Brad <3

FUCKMEPOOOON

2007-06-08T15:42:03Z

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Patrick Wolf is coming to Sydney.

AND IT IS AN OVER FUCKING 18'S EVENT!
FUCK ME RIGHT IN THE RECTUM TWICE WITH A SHARP STICK!

FUCKKKKKKKK
FUCK
AHH
POO
SHIT
DICK
CUNT!

Whyyyy!?!?!

DAMN YOU AGE RESTRICTIONS!!!

OK someone give me a fake ID. I'm growing a beard.
I already have a beard, Jarrod wouldn't shut up about it. I'll just never shave again.

And I'll wear platform shoes
And I'll wear fancy clothes
And huge glasses
And a hat

And then I can see him and it can all be fine. OK good glad we got that sorted

WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING?!
AHHHH! I WANT TO DIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

EvinrewBV9O4NHY936H986N0B81MFENJBPQIOEUNJKNKLDMFSNHKL;NlaLKN!!!!

Grrr

Brad
</3

Rawrrr

2007-06-07T11:18:22Z

I KUT MA NEK EVWY NITE 2 FEAL DEM DWOPS AWF PAYNEEEE
I FINK ABOOT DEAD BABEEZ AND ZOMBEEZ EATEN MA BRAAAIN

WEN I EM ASLEP I DREM BOUT MA BLOOD ND I FINK BOUT TEH DARKNZ ND TEH SATAN ND HE GIVES MI ORAL WIT HIS SHARP PAIN TEEF ND HE SLAUGHTRZ A GOAT ON MA TITZ

AN DEEEEN I DWEAMZ ABOOT DA DRK KLOUDZ CUMEN OVA HED EN DEM DA ~~STORMZ~~!!1!! STRIKEN MA BLAK HART AN MAKEN ALL DA BATZ CUM OOT

WEN DEH DARK CLIFFS OF EDGEYDARK CUM 2 MA WINDO I CRY IN2 MA PILLOW ND SCREM OOT ALL DA PAIN ND I SLIT MA RISTS TO SILENSE DA WRLD ND I DO IT AGEN AND AGEN AND AGEN

ANN DEN EYE GO 2 DA CUBBOARD AWF ALL MA BLAK MAGIX AN PFORM A SPEL AWN MA BLAX KITTY NAMED RAVENCLAW AN DEN I KUT HER OPUN EN EET ER FLESH EN DEN I POAR MA WRISTZ BLUD ALL OFA HURR

ND AFTA ALL DAT PAIN ND SORROW I KELL MYSLF, I JUST CNT BEER 2MORROW!

EN DEN MA XxX_SAWL_XxX HORNTS SAT4N @ HIS THRONE INN HELLS EN DEN EYE DEVOUR HIZ SAWWWLL 2!

ND I RUEL HEL 4EVA ND ALL DA DARK DEMONZ R IN MA ARMY 2 KEEL YEW 4 NUT UNDRSTANDIN MI WEN I WAS TEH LIVE

Transpoonshion:

I cut my neck every night to feel them drops of pain
I think about dead babies and zombies eating my brain

When I'm asleep I dream about my blood and I think about the darkness and the Satan and he gives me oral with his sharp pain teeth and he slaughters a goat on my tits

And then I dream about the dark clouds coming over head and then the storms strike my black heart and make all the bats come out

When the dark cliffs of edgydark come to my window I cry into my pillow and scream out all the pain and I slit my wrists to silence the world and I do it again and again and again

Then I go to the cupboard of all my black magicks and perform a spell on my black kitty named Ravenclaw and then I cut her open and eat her flesh and then I pour my wrists blood all over her

And after all that pain and sorrow, I kill myself, I just can't bear tomorrow

And then my soul haunts Satan at his throne in hell and then I devour his soul too

And I rule hell forever and all the dark demons are in my army to kill you for not understanding me when I was alive

Grr

2007-06-06T13:40:36Z

Aww.

My $64 pair of headphones broked!

The right one doesn't work anymore, unless it isn't extended at all. And I can't listen to music without extending the headphoney bits!! Grrrr

=(

I am a dictator

2007-06-06T06:07:57Z

Forgotten poetry from colorful entry:

Yeah, now isn't
that a surprise?
You've finally
lost your eyes
When people say
"don't poke
your eyes out"
They aren't a compromise

Isn't it grand
that we live
in the land
with soul and
freedom all in
your hands.
Don't make my mind
up.
And don't sail to
sea.
We'll know when
we get there.
Never before

Now now the wind
just happens to be
my only true relative
We do all of the same things
Don't shake your
tail at me
Don't make a mess
Next time you
see me, you'll know
you are next.

I never thought I knew you.
I never thought we had met

Don't ever say thankyou politely
cause I DON'T THINK THAT
YOU'D BENEFIT

OH I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU EVEN THINK
I WILL SHOW you
yeah I do yeah I
do yeah I do.

Alot of that doesn't make TOOO much sense. Idc though w/e stfu

LATER THAT NIGHT

What the fuck is in your mind?

I was there
It was fair
Someone there
Was really square
It didn't matter
I didn't come to chatter
As I went home
I found out how to roam
With complete conviction

Don't make a fuckin rhyme about it

This is what poetry is.

Robert Magarby,
Your eminence, for 45 years now the commonwealth has supported your attempts to redistribute land in Zimbabwe.
Your initiatives have been administered through the commonwealth heads of Government

~~CHOGOM~~

and the UN.
Through both of these ~~fellatio~~ but country has been given a total $6.5billion

Through both of these initiatives.

6.5billion dollars

At this point in time the extended issue of Lambridge

problem

Remains as a prominent quests in this country.

At 11hundred hours tomorrow our troops will be entering your borders.

Dun dun dun

They will firstly take the royal headquarters, and also the parliment. Warn your people to keep their children indoors.
Ass fucking you by 13hundred hours
Yours sincerely
The republic of ville
Bradford Brownerie

I, Bradford Brownerie have JUST said that Eminem is good.
I said that
"he has a way with words"
Signed

Witness,

Other than that, I'm hopefully going to see Genitals play tonight. And Marcc is also in it.
I am excited I guess.

Hmm..

OK bye.

Braad
Xx

Recent Diary Entries

2007-06-05T10:44:59Z

Fantasies may be real
and reality may be false
The ocean and the sky are just one big
beating pulse

Public humiliation is a
key to success don't
doubt its ways or one
of these days you'll be
more than sorry

When bell tolls for myself
I get the hell outta
here
Run away far from this
place I don't know
what to do

Ok, here is the thing
I'm stuck

Stuck with school, stuck with
money, stuck with life

There is not much left
I can do about it, so
I don't try and resist it
anymore
I feel it pointless

Whilst resting I discovered
true happiness within myself
The key is in gods

So we have to
MURDER
him to get it out of him.

We kill god,
We feel happy

Everybody must kill the god
within them!!!

The war has begun

Everything is beautiful
if you just give
it a chance

If we had extra options
we wouldn't still be here
We'd change everything forever
and make ourselves each other

Special
Is not a term you use lightly
I'd only
Give it to someone lovely
Like you, yeah you
too too too
OOOH OOH

I'd like that johnson
in my bosnan, yeah
you baby don't don't
know why you here
why you uppin in ma
ear
Why don't you do
something about my
dampening in my
panties boy
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh!

We don't want control
Just a healthy soul
Don't be telling us
It's not a realistic dream
No no we will
get there someday
You'll regret your dark
days uh-huh

Sparrows and hopscotch are
filled with my teardrops
Times of destruction
burst in my ear drums
Memory of the past
Seems to everlast
'
For the same reason we
don't like pigeons
We pain to tell you that
we hate reruns

.

Heh
I wrote some diary entries. Jealous? I would be.

Those are them (in the coulor)
Yeah.. About that.
I think some of it has a subtle poetic feel..

Or maybe it is just all plain retarded..

W/e
Eff yew

Brad
Xx

Hi

2007-06-04T15:09:28Z

Went and saw The History Boys on Sunday, with people from Bit Bent.

It was really good.

Greaaat movie and the company was quite lovely, and it was in Manuka *salivates*
Manuka is so beautiful <3 And it still had a touch of Autumn left! It was magical.

I forgot I loved Rufus Wainwright. He can't really write lyrics for shit.. But damn does he have one amazing voice and he is extremely musically talented.

Marilyn Manson just released an album. I'm listening to it on his myspace right now. It's quite ok. No Mechanical Animals, but still pretty good. Better than TGAOG so far.
Except most of the riffs seems really familiar.. Maybe he ripped off everyone? Who knows. I cbf looking into it right now someone else can.

Sorry about the other journal.. As you may have guessed, I was slightly under the influence of illicit plants. Woops..

I like playing Clarinet. It's fun, and it sounds pretty. Clarinet has quite a nice sound.

I'm moving realllly soon. Like, maybe this weekend soon.

To my old house.. I love that house. It was so nice.

I can't wait.
I'll turn the garage into an art/music/rumpus/smoking room =D
That will be fun.

I might buy a cheap second hand drumkit or something.. I wouldn't mind going crazy on drums in that garage, it has nice acoustics.

I'm getting a new amp soon I think also. The guy who plays guitar in my mothers band is lending me one or something I don't know.

I need a new amp.. Mine is so small and boring and quiet.

Hm.. What else is news.

Oh, I stole my mothers jacket. It's so nice.
Not everyone thinks so but I don't care, it's comfortable/warm/I find it stylish.
Yeah..

Hmmmmm

I have weird outbursts of sadness all the time..

Like
If I finish reading a book, I breakdown and get sad because I miss the book and the fantasy of it and I wish I could read more and I want more and yeah.
Like I get so involved in things, when they are over I feel a horrible feeling of emptyness.

It happens with movies, books, tv shows, music.. Lots of things.

It's odd.

I like Harry Potter a lot. I'm not ashamed.
It's a wonderful fantasy. I wish I was there <3

Yeah.

I wonder what I will do when I fail school and can't get into college and can't get a proper full time job.. Hmm

I'm pretty fucked.
Maybe I should start trying harder?

OR

Maybe I should start trying less =D

Hmm, should I be worried if I'm hullucinating while high off canabis? I don't think it is normal..
I do this thing, where I feel like my soul is falling out of my body. I used to do it a lot, but I usually just jolted out of and that was it. But now, I kind of resist it.. and let myself fall.
And I do this thing..
Where like, after falling, I start flying, on a cloud. And I fly around on the cloud revisiting my childhood memories from a cloud. It's cool, but worrying.
Maybe I should lay off the drugs?
And start attending school...

Hmm.

Yeah I'm really fucked..

Oh well. Maybe Afroqueer will land a record deal and I'll become mildly successful and don't have to worry about school and such. Who knows.

Night
Xx

Ok

2007-06-02T10:54:55Z

Where to startt? I do not know. Where will I end up? NOBODY KNOWS.

So

How was your day?
Mine was OK.
I chilled

If I was born of cesarean section I would murder you, yeah I would murder you.

Hmm.

My soul is nicer than your soul.
And my dreams are cooler than you.
My heart will always be winning,
When a bird flies to you.

Relax don't hide don't ever say you don't think you know because you only need to think to know don't be lazy.
OK?

Don't fool around with the only exit
It might close and you'll be stricken of your freedom
That's not a perfect dream now is it?

Running away will only help if you run in the wrong direction.
If I was to guide you, you would never learn.
The world would never be home to you if you don't what you've learned and what you earned and how you turned to say OK

I don't know exactly what I'm saying but I am aware of my undertones and I do realize now would be a good time to be the bigger person in this situation.

I don't know what the hell I'm saying...

Hmm

Maybe I shouldn't post this it doesn't make sense.

Fuckarz ima post dis shet no matta wut uze say 2 me abuut et ok u fux?

Brad <3

Subjects are for losers

2007-06-01T14:52:35Z

Ugh I'm feeling really down right now.

I don't even really know why =\

I was in a crazy good mood today, acting very happy and eccentric and fun and flamboyant and jumpy and yeah. Then out of no-where I felt a horrible feeling of downyness and since then it's gotten slowly worse and now I am sad =((

Not like horribly sad, just a lot sadder than my usual rare sadness I guess.
I guess I do have a reason why I should feel sad.. But I don't THINK that is the reason.

Just some stuff happened with some guy and I was all happy and then I found out something kind of sucky for me happened involving this guy and some other guy and yeah. You get the point.

Like, it wasn't unexpected, it wasn't a shock, it didn't make a difference anyway, and I didn't feel sad at the time of finding out.. And I don't think that is why I am sad, but it may be the reason? Who knows. Maybe I had a delayed reaction and since it was so delayed I didn't realize that was the cause?
I don't know
Whatever

I'll get over it eventually.

Patrick Wolf is helping

I got The Magic Position

*salivates wildly*

It is very very very good. He is so talented and amazing and fun fun fun and peace peace peace and ahhhh goddamn he is wonderful.

I also got a PJ Harvey cd (Is This Desire - Very good. Peaceful and quiet and electronic)
And a Telepopmusik album. I don't remember what it's called. It's good though, peaceful and good to fall asleep to.

Hmm now I think about things, I think I might be falling for some guy (differen't that the one I had a crush on. I know it didn't last long w/e, he is still cute but not for me I don't think.).

I have fallen for the same guy before.. And he might not be the best guy to fall for.. He is so unavailable yet so in my reach.
It's frustrating really.
I can't help but to be head over heels for him, and he can't help but to lead me on like a dogggg on a leash and yeah. Gr.

=(

Maybe that is contributing to my sadness as well?
Who knows.

I would really like to be in a relationship right about now.
I am so over the whole having sex for the sake of having sex thing.
I'm no slut

I have weird personality changes:
Sometimes I am the faggy flamboyant queen who pumps glamorous electro music into my face while talking slutilly about all the hawt guys I long to sleep with.

Sometimes I am the bohemian indie fag boy in stylish coats and scarfs listening to quiet peaceful bohemian modern-classical music on a bus staring at the sky, longing to be free and flying amongst the birds.

It's odd how I switch between the two extremes so quickly...
Hmm

I am currently in a really poetic mood.

I'm also too lazy to act upon this.

This will do for now,
If I am feeling more down and dark maybe I'll have a poetic outburst and journal it all. I doubt that though.. Whatever.

Night
X
Brad

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-05-27T00:55:00

2007-05-26T15:00:48Z

Work was busy. Grr

I had plenty to look at though, I was happy.

It is really cold at the moment.

On the bus to woden , I can see what looks like a beautiful, wonderful, magical pathway in some field in lyons or something. I can't tell though, I only get a glimpse. I want to travel it, but I fear it may be just some ugly gross path in ugly gross fields. I don't want to ruin it.. But I do want to discover it if it is beautiful and magical. DILEMA

I miss the hat I bought and lost. I'll buy another one I guess.

OK time to go dream of beautiful magical wonderful things now. Night

About that

2007-05-26T02:33:57Z

Working tonight, out back ^_^ I haven't had a shift in the kitchen in a while.
Not that I don't like front counter, it can just get quite draining.

I am yet to stop listening to inspiring false hopey music. I'm listening to it right now actually. Wooh.

I really truly 100% love Patrick Wolf and everything about him. Every tiny detail.

His mind
His soul
His lyrics
His music
His talent
His voice
His accent
His appearance
His clothing
His face *drools*

And just about everything that has ever come out of his mouth

It's true. I lurve him.
He is inspiring in many many ways. He is the most amazing person I know of.

<3

I'm done now.

Brad

Oh my

2007-05-25T15:48:28Z

I just found out something I really didn't want to know. Certain people know certain other people that don't like certain other other people.

Great

It isn't fair really. I don't have a problem with it, but as soon as anything is mentioned I have a bad feeling I am going to be outlawed sort of.. It would be immature of said persons, but you know maturity levels and open mindednesserzeriz in people these days.

Oh well

Life goes on

I don't care

I will just keep it to myself, not confront anyone and not bitch about it. So this can end here I guess.

Work was mostly horrible tonight. People being rude, me getting embarrassed and such. The usual. =\

Ugh I was in a really good mood a little while ago. Why did things have to happen?
Grr stop thinking of it.
OK
Done
Out of my head
Even though it isn't but oh well I can still claim it's gone.

I have giant feeling of guilt in my chest now. Excellent.

Hmm, what do I do if I fail year 10? I already got 4 E's last year, and I'm looking at about 4 more just this semester if I don't start attending school and doing assignments and the like..

Fuck I hate school. I feel really trapped in it.
I know I can't leave, because that really screws my future up horribly.. But the shit they try to teach me -_-
I really do not feel like I need any of that crap.
But I do, because I am automatically unemployed and poor if I don't finish school..
But gah. I want a carefree, peaceful, bohemian, hippie type life.
Living out in the country in a small house, growing vegetables and fruits for food, no electricity, focusing on art/music/writing, etc. It sounds so beautiful <3 But most likely very unrealistic.
Grr

Life is complicated. I don't mean that in an emotional "I want to die plz I hate my life it's so horrible no one loves me why can't I just die right now?"
I mean it in a confused "Why am I here? What is my purpose? What should I do with myself? I don't understand =(" kind of way.
Grr

Maybe I should stop listening to music. It seems to be tainting my mind with false hopes of artistic dreams and such.

DAMN YOU PATRICK WOLF!
Why must you have such a wonderful mind and soul?

Aww man now I am frustrated. All this talk of my confusion has made me think about it even more and make me even more confused. Bleh

OK I won't bitch about my state of my mind anymore it makes it worse.
I will bitch about people =)

What the hell is with manly men eating a gigantic meals? How does that make them more manly? It makes them more fat..

EG: Every football playing, pub going, porn watching man that comes in to purchase food from me buys: Large double quarter pounder meals (biggest burger on the menu) with XL coke, extra fries, and an extra triple cheeseburger meal. Or something similar

Even when they are just buying drinks, they insist "Get me the biggest cup you've got. The bigger the better. And I'll have two".. I really do no understand it at all.
These kind of people are strange..

Lot's of people are strange. I really do not understand most general human nature. AHHHHH.
OK people bitching isn't working, I am looping back to my dreamy state of mind. Gah

Maybe I should just stop altogether
That might work

I'll give that a try.
OK
Done
Screw editing this journal it's huge edit it yourself. I probably screwed my words up and such all over the place. Oh well.

NIGHT

Insert deep lyrics quote here

2007-05-24T13:45:24Z

I am very happy right now

I won't go into detail too much though. Don't want to say anything that can be translated into me stalking someone.

We all now how that goes downn

OK I'm over that already, stop living in the past Brad BAD!

Anyway, Bit Bent thing tonight. (=queer youth group)
Left early withhh Andrew, Kelly, Sarah and Gennn (who I dragged along this time)
We sat on some grass next to a carpark. It was quite lovely actually. Then we walked around philip and bummed around dark alleys because we are so teh g4wefx and such.

It was wonderful.

I think I also have a love interest as of now. <3

You could even say I have a crush *giggles*

That isn't important though. I won't get into it.

Hmm

When you have a new crush it is hard to think about anything else...

.

Carrie made me a band bio for Afroqueer. It is very nice. I love her muchly for it <3 tis on Afroqueer's myspace here

OK, nothing else to talk about that isn't him so I'll just stop now before I give into urges and blurt out a whole journal about him.

NIGHTTT

No, Harry Potter is a wizard

2007-05-23T08:35:05Z

Drake and Josh is kind of sucky, but I found that funny.

Well it took me over half an hour,
But I picked out an outfit to wear tomorrow.

I am never this fussy and superficial.. I just grab the closest clean thing I see. Cold weather just brings out the fashionable-art-queer I truly am I guess?

I'm wearing:
Plain Black pants
A long-sleeve button-up White t-shirt with Brown stripes
An uber tight Grey sweater
A White jacket with fur (fake) on the end of the sleeves, the bottom and the hood
A Brown checkeredish scarf

Shoes undecided

Most likely just my purple tiger converses

I've almost finished reading Running With Scissors.
It is a really good book. I almost cried in horticulture today when Neil ran away =(

I get to go to Bit Bent again tomorrow =D I'm really quite excited. I am bringing Gen with me.
I feel it will be fun fun fun!

According to most people that have listened to the new Afroqueer song, I am really good at guitar but need to work on my vocals.
I can deal with that. I don't think I can sing at all. I just kind of moan the lyrics out.
I can't wait to get new, decent equipment and programs so I can record like a crazy beeatch on speed =DD

Hmm

Hmm

Ok

Bai

Advertisement is for suckers

2007-05-22T05:42:31Z

So ima suck my way to sucksville

My personal Myspace

Orwina's personal Myspace

Afroqueer's Myspace

My youtube profile w/ personally made videos

And then there is my live journal right here

I am working tonight. Jealous? I would be.

I spent the day with Gen today. It was quite loverly.

OK I'm done. I'll post again after work and complain about things.
Brad
<3

Having Myself To Myself

2007-05-21T12:05:21Z

Afroqueer has a new #1 hit!!!

Not really

But I did make another poorly recorded retarded song type thing. It's on Afroqueer's Myspace
If you like your ears, I wouldn't recommend listening to "Coolcooldone"to loud. It can be painful...
The new one is the second one though (Having myself to myself). I don't get the name either. It was part of the lyrics

Yeah, I know. It's not very good at all.. But I don't care, it is better than you.

Other than that, I'm bored and this entry is big enough methinks. I already did one today anyway stfu

Byeee

If I were you, I wouldn't be wearing a pink skirt at a funeral

2007-05-21T07:01:01Z

But if I was anyone else I probably would, just to be indie underground hardcore punk alternative.

Plastic surgery is quite silly.
It's really weird, last year I actually wanted to be a plastic surgeon...
That was Nip/tuck's fault though. I wasn't thinking about the vain, shallow, silliness of cosmetic surgery. I was thinking of Julian McMahon.

I'm really bored

I don't like Shakespeare really.

Talking bad about him is better than being a pretentious douche bag and acting as if I live for him and admire his work.

His language thing confuses the hell out of me, there are a lot of modern playwrights that don't use a confusing language. People should move on and stop living in the past.

Upon saying that though, I do not know anything about him or his work. I have not researched said playwright at all, and therefore should not be speaking little of him.
I apologize to all the avid Shakespeare fans that are reading this (because so many people read my blog, and so many of them will be deeply offended by what I said and all).

Written questions at school are fucking annoying.

I don't get how to answer them. Well, I can answer them.. Not in words, or on paper, though. I know the answers in my mind but I can't get them out onto paper or into speeches and such.

Maybe I am just mentally retarded..

I am in level 3 English

I got some new pictures last night.

I looked horrible in them though.

ACNE
BAD LIGHT
TIREDNESS
ETC

So I edited them like a fat chode with some stupid program on my computer (Too poor or adobe) and now you can hardly see any of my minor imperfections ^_^

Fergie is really annoying.
She doesn't even have looks to brag about.. She still does it though.
WHEN WILL SHE LEARN?

She ripped off Peaches as well. She shall never be forgiven.

I wouldn't mind getting a tattoo of a small bird. Or a leaf or something.
To symbolize Freedom.

OK I've had enough of playing with colors now, so I'll end this blog now.
I might make another entry later tonight. Probably not though I'm lazy

Brad

Grapes are juicy, yes they are

2007-05-20T10:36:03Z

Maybe I'll make this whole blogging thing daily.

For the fun of it I guess.

Customers can be really cruel and mean!
OK you have had a bad day, don't take it out on the provider of your fattening foods plz.
I do not take my bad moods out on customers. It isn't their fault I am tired, hungry, bored, annoyed, etc. So I should not make them feel as if it is.

>_<

I hate feeling angry inside
I also hate being mad at people
Or annoyed at people
But honestly, some people say/do such silly things some times

A footnote of "I like pretending to be things I'm not" is no excuse to blatantly charade yourself around as a "bisexual" then block everyone who you were open about it to out of your life for an extended period of time before you 'changed your mind'. (Thinking everyone would forget?)
It's just plain silly
There is no excuse for that and you should not have done it. Especially not to get the attention of a female -_- Having a sexual orientation that isn't heterosexual, does not make you anymore alternative or indie than you already were
You defiantly tried way too hard and ended up looking like a poser jerk

I know you won't read that and it is cowardly of me to post it somewhere you would never even think about searching for and reading
But I don't care, I don't want you to read it. I want to get it out because it pissed me off

Once again I would like to remind everyone (including myself) that I do not like feeling angry inside. I'M PEACEFUL DAMNIT!

Wow I never even thought I had this much anger in me. Yuck

LET IT ALL OUT NOW!

Blurgh

Gone?

Hope so

I'll just pretend it is for now

Yay, Happy again.

OK

Hmm

You can't write a whole bunch about being happy... It would be hard to write a book if you didn't have any angst in you =\

Courtney is in Queensland for a week. Grr. Missyness already

I think I'm going to start getting into Christianity

LOL

I want instruments

I want
         a ukulele
         a synthesizer
         a drum machine
         a drum kit
       a pan flute
         a soprano saxophone
         a harp
         a piano
         a flute
         a piccolo
ETC.

In other news
I want to go to the Belconnen Bit Bent
But I have no Courtney to come with me this time. It would be extra scary!
I would live though I guess
I dunno though
What if I get slaughtered because I am the Hagless newbie?

FIN

Mother's touch

2007-05-19T14:21:45Z

Yes, she owns the touch so she deserves an apostrophe.

Also I couldn't think of a title so I used the concept from the comment I left Bradd. Yay

I cried today and yesterday.
I didn't enjoy either outbursts at all.

The first was because I had possibly the best day of my life on Thursday. I started going to a queer youth group thing and it was so wonderful. All the people were extremely nice and caring and open and wonderful! Also, I went to see a production of 'Aladdin' at a college and it was very nice!

I think that having all that happiness in one day made me think that anything less was too crummy for me, which isn't true I should be grateful of my life it is wonderful! ^_^

Anyway, other than the fact that I thought things were crummy, I kept having flashbacks of 'Aladdin' all day and wanted to see it again (but it is finished now) and it eventually got to me and frustrated me until I was crying.

Today's whine was because my brother was being angry and horrible all day and it was making me feel angry as well. I do not like feeling angry, so frustration once again got the best of me.

Crying is not very fun at all!!

Hmm, I have to work in 8 hours and I am walking for 50 minutes to get there.. I should probably be asleep
Oh well

I am growing bored of playing guitar. It is fun and all and I don't think I'm too shabby at all. But it is so boring! I sound like everything I've already heard.
When I overuse distortion and play everything muted and slow, I sound like a boring teenage wannabe grunge ph00l.
When I use simple chord structures with harmonics all over the place, I sound like a wannabe indie-rocker.
When I play peaceful acoustic riffs, I sound like a Jack Johnson-y type
person
When I play distorted-occaisonally muted-chords, I sound like modern day industrial shizzle
Etc

Sure these things can be good. I like these types of music. But I don't really want to play these kinds of music myself.
I want something new.
But it feels like there is nothing left.

I just need to broaden my mind and think hardd to find something new I do!

Hm

I'm happy

Nuff now

Night

Honeybear

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-10-03T01:05:00

Oh my

giknrebion

Agh

New love

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-06-11T23:17:00

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-06-10T00:57:00

FUCKMEPOOOON

Rawrrr

Grr

I am a dictator

Recent Diary Entries

Hi

Ok

Subjects are for losers

bradlecakeskins @ 2007-05-27T00:55:00

About that

Oh my

*Insert deep lyrics quote here*

No, Harry Potter is a wizard

Advertisement is for suckers

Having Myself To Myself

If I were you, I wouldn't be wearing a pink skirt at a funeral

Grapes are juicy, yes they are

Mother's touch

Insert deep lyrics quote here